Bushy in Ikes Shoes; laughter, then horror

Imagine if Bush, instead of Eisenhower, had supervised D-Day

By Jane Stillwater
Al-Jazeerah, January 7, 2005

I'm laughing so hard as I write this, I don't even know where to start! I'm sorry but it IS funny. Can you even BEGIN to imagine Dubya ever replacing Ike?

First, let's go back to before World War II even started (This part is NOT funny): Like Rumsfeld selling missiles to Saddam Hussein, Bush would have kept Hitler supplied with American-made WMDs for over a decade before even Dunkirk.

Like when North Korea BROADCAST far and wide that it had nuclear capabilities and knew how to use them but Bush invaded Iraq instead, our Dubya would have forgotten about Germany and invaded Argentina! "Hey, we need their beef."

"Hitler, is our target, boy," General Eisenhower told him. "H-I-T-L-E-R." But you couldn't tell GWB anything. Instead of Dresden, he fire-bombed New York City.

"Okay, okay." Ike drew a really BIG map with a big X on Normandy. "You pronounce this place EU-ROPE," he told young George.

"I knew that. Karl Rove told me."

FINALLY, George bombed the hell out of Omaha Beach. But then he got bad information from the CIA, forgot to chase the Nazis and started killing off the French. "Hey, they looked like terrorists to me!" After 50,000 French women were blown up, however, the GIs mutinied.

"Ike, the soldiers hate me," Bush whined. "They wanna fight Nazis -- not the French Resistance. They're all mad because we blew up Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer."

And instead of bombing Hitler's bunker in Berlin, Bush consistently ignored all warnings and allowed Hitler to blow up the Pentagon!

Ike supported the Marshall Plan to get Europe back on its feet. Dubya supported the Dachau Plan to torture Iraqis in Abu Ghraib.

So. How did "Dubya's Dubious D-Day Disaster" finally turn out? Guess.

Due to voting machine glitches, George Bush was still "Commander in Chief" 50 years later and US troops were still fighting in France (they never even got to Germany).

In addition, General Eisenhower would have had the intelligence to recognize who America's REAL enemy is -- and it's not some poor schmucks in France, Germany, North Korea, Palestine or even Iraq. It's FASCISM -- as defined by Benito Mussolini himself. "Fascism should rightly be called Corporatism as it is a merge of state and corporate power."

As Eisenhower later said, "In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist." Our Ike was nobody's fool!

What would Eisenhower do if he was in charge today? The FIRST thing he would do would be to throw Bush in the stockade for corruption, incompetence, insubordination, wreckless endangerment of US troops and going AWOL!